Today started off like any other day:
I woke up.
I read the daily passage in Demi Lovato’s book, “Staying Strong.” #irony
I took a shower.
I got ready and headed to work.
I worked for about 4 hours before I headed to lunch at a local craft brewery with a coworker and an old colleague. (In May 2017, my company downsized by nearly 50%. In July 2017, they cut an additional 50% of our remaining staff. I try to maintain great relationships with everyone so we meet for necessary “board meetings” where we complain about our jobs, talk about our lives and drink great beer as we enjoy good company.) We spent about two and half hours at lunch before we headed back to our office.
When I got back to my desk, I got a Skype message from one of the VPs, saying she needed me in her office. As we were talking, I figured out what was happening: this was the third layoff and this time it was me.
As she was talking to me, she was trying to fill the time until HR was available. We talked about this and that #sidetalk until I finally just said, “Am I being let go?”
When I finally got back in my office, I get a call from the HR lady and a guy I had worked with a few times. I answer the phone and they tell me, “Thank you for your time. We are going through a period of change… blah, blah, blah… We appreciate everything you’ve done but I regret to inform you your position has been dissolved. Today will be your last day.”
I #literally can’t even explain what I was feeling. For those who don’t know, I worked (#pasttense #haha) for a startup tech company and the experience was less than ideal; but I got the gig right out of college and was able to learn so much. For that, I’m grateful for the opportunity. For everything else, I’m grateful to be let go.
I was stuck (which is a familiar feeling in my life—probably will talk about that another day) and scared to move on from a comfortable situation. So as the HR lady asked me, “Do you have any questions?” I responded, “Is it just me or were other people affected?” She said the entire team was being dissolved. #ouch
As they finished reading only what I can assume was a screen prompt in their monotone voices, they assured me that I did a great job and were wondering if there was anything they could do.
“Well… if you wanted to write me a review on LinkedIn, that would be sweet.” #smooth
So, I hung up, transferred some of my best work examples to my personal Dropbox account, packed up my things and headed out. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention: I. Couldn’t. Stop. Laughing.
I often laugh when I’m nervous and, seeing how I had #literallynoidea how to react, I just giggled. A lot.
So, what do you do when you are #jobless? Do you scream at your boss? Do you cry as you carry your box of personal items out? Do you get super drunk? Do you file unemployment? Do you immediately open your resume and begin looking for the next opportunity? Do you book a flight to Paris with your severance package? I have #literallynoidea.
Apparently, I spend the rest of the day hanging with old coworkers, drinking #beers and networking. Then I come home to my #fairygodchild, drink some wine and eat the dinner that my #awesomeroommates made for me. That’s one thing that’s been really great. My friends and family have been super supportive today. Texts, snapchats and phone calls checking my sanity.
As much as I appreciate it, the joke's on them because I am #great.
Sometimes I think forced change is the best. I didn’t get out of a six year relationship until we both were at our ends. I didn’t reach out for financial help until I had #literally zero dollars. I didn’t decide to buy my car until my #firstcar went straight up #JamesDean on me one day. (Save that for another post too.)
Ironically, I had been collaborating with an old colleague about an upcoming opportunity… so that door just opened a little wider as this door just slammed shut.
So, as I sit here writing this blog, sipping my wine, trying not to cry about the uncertainty and wondering the hell just happened, I glance at my Demi Lovato book and have to turn to the page to remind myself to #staystrong. I reread the passage from today...
I have #literallynoidea what the next few weeks will look like. But you can bet I’ll be sharing it with you. So, here's to having #literallynoidea and good wine.
Cheers.
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